from now on my penis is your penis
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
