I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
