just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
