addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
