After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
