JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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