I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
