Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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