this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
