Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
