'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
