This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
