i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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