i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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