I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am mentally ready for anal.
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