I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
