We're facebook friends in real life
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
