OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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