I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
