Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
