i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
