is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
