he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
