I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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