my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
