I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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