Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
