You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
