brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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