around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
