She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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