we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
