Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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