no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
