when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
