HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
