i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
