after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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