This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
ttyl tear gas
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
