i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
