My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
