I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
