All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
