You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
