I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
