I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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