Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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