i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
