Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
