hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this will be a night to untag.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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