I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
