I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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