my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
